The Art of Acquiescence: When Acceptance Is the Bravest Form of Strength

You don’t always win by fighting. Sometimes you win by putting the armour down. I used to believe strength meant pushing harder — louder, braver, sharper ... until one day the fight started costing me more than the thing I was fighting for. And I had to ask myself whether resilience meant holding on — or finally letting go.

Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

This is a story about learning to stop fighting what was, and finding peace in what is.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about acceptance — the kind that shows up after life hits you sideways and you’re left sitting there thinking, “Well… that just happened.”

There are moments when something happens that you wish hadn’t — and yet, it did. No matter how many times you replay it, reason with it, or rage against it ... it still happened. And then, out of nowhere, you’re staring down a tough choice. -  keep fighting what was, or learn to live with what is.

The Battles I Fought Just to Exist

When I look back on my life — the walls I’ve had to climb, the ceilings I’ve had to crack, the labels I’ve had thrown at me (“coconut,” “wrong colour,” “too this,” “not enough that”) — I realise how much time I’ve spent fighting to be seen, to belong AND to prove that I deserved a seat at the table. You learn to stand tall, fists clenched and armour (always!) on.

Because in my world, that’s what resilience looks like — you fight, you rise, you push back!!

But then one day something hits different — not just another jab, but a blow that cuts way, way deeper. It’s something that seeps into your everyday — your work, relationships and ... your peace. It touches the things you hold sacred.

I’ve been there — when something happens that shakes the foundations of who you are, and suddenly your strength starts to feel like a weight you no longer want to carry. And then you find yourself asking the hardest question of all: what do you do when fighting starts to cost you yourself?

The Moment You Stop Fighting 

Well… YOU STOP (!) ... not because you’ve given up (NEVER!!), but because you’ve grown up. You learn the art of acquiescence. It’s such a soft, delicate, almost old-fashioned word, but it carries subtle, fierce power. It means to accept — not because you agree or approve, but because you understand that resisting won’t change the past. It’s the moment you realise that while the event is fixed, your relationship to it isn’t.

Rewriting What’s Yours to Rewrite 

When something shakes you, you can spend years trying to rewrite the story — or you can rewrite your response. Between the two, only one can still change. So I’ve learned (and I’m still learning slowly/imperfectly) to whisper to myself - this happened. I wish it hadn’t ... but it did (!) and then loosen my grip on the wish. Let the universe — or the gods — take it from there. Not everything needs my battle to be made right… and sometimes (just sometimes) the most radical thing you can do is simply stop touching the wound.

Where Peace Actually Lives

There’s freedom in that surrender and peace in no longer fighting every little thing. There’s also power in accepting that the outcome isn’t always mine to control. Maybe that’s what resilience really is — faith instead of the fight, knowing above the noise, and calm over control.

“Whatever the situation, you can either suffer it or accept it. Acceptance brings clarity, while resistance only prolongs the pain.” — Sadhguru

Sometimes strength looks a lot like stillness. And perhaps (just perhaps)… this is where peace begins. Resilience lives not in the battles you win, but in the ones you’re brave enough to stop fighting.

🩵 With love, always Mel